Friday, April 13, 2012

Saving Some Collective Breath

Today as a sort of public service announcement I offer the top ten things we can all stop saying. If everybody saved 10-15 words a day that would be like 3-4 billion words in the U.S. alone. If you think about it, that's really a HUGE savings and you kind of only have to choose one of the sentences below to not say each day. Plants will be able to work a little bit less hard to convert us new oxygen, everyone can really just relax. Take your pick, or come up with a new idea of things that 'go without saying.'

1) This is a completely non-smoking flight. (I love how they almost always say completely, like its different than those ones where you can smoke on the descent...)

2) The backlash against Merlot should be over. (Still for some reason no one can mention Merlot without referencing Sideways. It makes me itchy its so played out.)

3) Buckle up!

4) I just hate the butter and oak bomb Chardonnays (yeah, yeah, you and everyone with some sophistication)

5) I could really stand to lose a few pounds (You could save a few words by just saying 'I'm a modern American')

6) Sparkling wine does not need to just be for celebrations (anyone who does not know this doesn't deserve to drink it with food - doesn't need to be said anymore)

7) At least it's Thursday (I actually would refrain from making any reference to what day of the week it is at work, it is mundane and believe me everyone is already well aware)

8) I don't like sweet wine (yes you do, you just won't let yourself)

9) What? You haven't seen ? (I get this all the time and I want to say, uh yeah, that's what I just said)

10) This wine is made in a more international style (call it overripe, call it overoaked, mention is has no real sense of place but don't call it the 'international' style - that phrase is ironically becoming as flabby as the style it is trying to represent)

You're welcome oxygen supply!!

1 comment:

  1. Make sure to take care of your teeth too. This is to get rid of the bacteria.