Quickest Ways to Sound Old-School

No one likes to be the new kid on the block (original boy band obviously excluded). The Vino File being an acknowledged late comer to the wine blog scene I have been keen to learn the ropes and move quickly from newbie to established. I am just now getting to the point where I see new wine blogs starting to creep up behind me, and I have a few words of wisdom for quickly sounding like you've been at this a long time:




1) Call it juice. Not every time but now and then refer the wine as juice.

2) Always when mentioning chardonnay remind readers that you don't like butter or oak.

3) Remember, any noun can become an adjective by adding 'ed' (i.e. mushroomed, cigared, funked)

4) Regret that you are scoring, but score away.

5) Remind everyone around you that you are not a wine snob, you are down to earth. It is better to say this right before you explain why Beaujolais Nouveau is really only acceptable if you recognize it for its frivolous, and less than serious drinkability.

6) All fruits have taste characteristics directly related to their color or what type of bush they are grown on. Thus blue and bramble are much more focused descriptors than they may appear.

Please jump in here at any time.


By the way, I am the first to be guilty of using all of these things, and will probably include some of them in tomorrow's post. After all, nobody influences a culture completely from the outside, and honestly the people in around the wine culture have been truly amazing people, quirks, idiosyncrasies, homogeneous tendencies, and all.