More Wine Definitions for Wine Blog Newbies

I have written The Vino File for 3 and 1/2 months now and if there is one thing I have noticed it is that this culture is absolutely brimming with jargon. There are hundreds of words, phrases, and general topics that are absolutely foreign to people who do not consider themselves wine geeks. For a newbie it can appear to simply be a race to the most obscure. So as I come across these phrases, and learn what they mean, I will try to share here. I covered some early terms that I encountered in an earlier post, at which time my Google analytics reveal that only D, myself, and some guy in Bangalore were reading it. So here are a few more that I have come across recently that may be confusing to you with simple definitions you can use to place this hobby in context.

'Century Club' - a scavenger hunt for drunks in which you can essentially buy your way into a club that e-mails each other about riveting topics like Pedro Ximenez bargains.

'Malbec' - the fastest growing sales item in the US wine market, this is the wine equivalent of Corona. There really is nothing wrong with it, but often not anything amazing about it either. Good thing is that it seems exotic because it comes from a far away land, and while generally cheap it stands out from the Coors Light and Miller that is usually offered next to it.

'summer sipper' - unstructured white wine that lacks any complexity, usually has only one distinct flavor profile, and should be served deeply chilled

'cork taint' - a compound found in natural cork that can seep into wine and make them taste like wet cardboard. Using this phrase at every opportunity is the quickest way to look very experienced without having to talk about the wine at all. If you find yourself in a situation where others do not agree with you (which they probably will, not wanting to look ignorant) just insist that you are VERY sensitive to cork-i-ness

'wine' - the beverage of choice for alcoholics who wish to hide their problem in some high-browed culture, very similar to how a cigar every night does not a nicotine addict make (but people who chew, now that's nasty)

'vintage' - the year in which the grapes were picked for the bottle of wine you were drinking. Twice each decade it is declared that a vintage was less than superb so that the other eight can demand the respect they deserve.

'pairing' - a word that allows you to write about any wine with any other topic you wish to discuss when you have no other ideas for a blog post. It can also justify some obscure references that will help you get some hits on your blog in order to reach your own internal traffic goals (e.g. I will now tell you which wine pairs best with an iPad streaming Justin Bieber videos)

'dark fruit' - this does NOT mean effeminate person of color as it may initially seem but is rather a wine descriptor that can be used on any medium to full bodied red wine when the reviewer can think of nothing else to say about it.

These are just a few of the phrases that I have been able to decipher through context. Thanks to my fellow wine bloggers for helping me learn and if anyone has any more please post them below.